Witty, fun and inspirational in 140 characters, Krugersdorp’s Dezy De Lima is a much loved online celeb. She shares her bits and bytes of life behind the avatar.
An article recently published in a local magazine, Get It Joburg West, March 2012 edition, about my Twitter experience, written by Tunet Jordaan.
To view the article, click here -> Bird on a Wire
Thank you Tunet and Get It Joburg West
Tunet on Twitter @dieOranje_skaap
Get It Joburg West on Twitter @GetItJHBWest
Following my Yellow Brick Road
I have always been open-minded, caring, respectful to other people’s ways and helpful to others. Living by the motto, ‘Do unto others as you’d have done unto you’. If people were to describe me, they would use words like: outgoing, friendly, happy, approachable, lively, passionate, helpful, knowledgeable. And that is who I am fundamentally.
I come from a very supportive, close and loving family. Mother showers me with love on the emotional and affectionate side. Dad shows love by providing for us our entire life so that we never went without, on the emotional and affectionate side not so much once I hit puberty and now whilst growing up. And believe it or not, I have found this to be one of my reasons for being who I am today. So I thank him for this, but at the same time, I wonder if he knows what harm he has done (I’m saying this in a very light reprimanding tone).
Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for my family and all they have done for me throughout my life. I am grateful and privileged. So you’re most probably wondering why I am telling you this… You will soon be enlightened in my future posts….
Majority of the relationships that I have had in my life have been with men that paid a lot of attention to me and made me feel like I was their everything, and as the relationship progressed, the honeymoon phase ended (so-to-speak) leading to a series of events that ended the relationship and ended up leaving me feeling more insecure and less appreciated, not worthy. It killed my ego and I would have to start all over again in building myself up. I found this to be very trying on me and I slowly slowly started respecting myself less and less because of this rejection. This cycle also seemed true of new friendships that I made. I would be noticed, and be appreciated and in return I would help them fix up their lives. Make them more confident and make them feel like a somebody and not too long after, our friendship would fizzle away and I would be left alone and in turmoil again. Not worthy, more insecure and less appreciated. But this hasn’t killed me. It has only made me stronger. And this is where my journey into my spiritual awakening began.
One morning I woke up and realised that I had “Stray dog syndrome”. Taking in the strays and finding them new homes in their new lives that I helped them build with my passionate disposition and love that I had to give in abundance. And I asked myself: Why do I follow the same patterns that are now seeming to be taking on a tumble-weed affect? Why do people not stay in my life? Why am I not appreciated? Why do people not give me the same in return that I give them? Why am I giving so much of myself to others? Why am I not giving myself the same amount of love and passion to right my life like I do for others? Why am I not respecting myself and throwing myself at anyone who pays attention to me? Many questions! There are more, but you get the idea. And I wonder if you are nodding your head and relating to any of this.
Insecure
This was an awakening for me. It made me get up and do something and start changing my life for the better. I’m not there yet, as it is a work in progress, in fact my life, just like everyone’s, will always be a work in progress, but it will all be worth it and I will do it proudly.
So I am taking my experiences and my awakening and using this to base my spiritual awakening journey on. This is part of my life’s lessons, so I will not judge myself, but merely be grateful to the universe for providing me with the skills to move forward on my exciting life adventure.
In the coming posts, I will take you through many lessons I have learned and ones that I am still learning. You might think that the posts, the thoughts, the sequences and series of events seem too mixed up, that they don’t read like a book and that they are just everywhere, but this is how I am learning. This is how the lessons are appearing to me. I don’t always see signs because I’m not always concentrating or looking for them. I will attempt to put this into perspective; your visions and goals may sometimes seem clear to you and you know what you want to achieve, what the outcome is that you are expecting and you put steps in place to get to these end results. But life is unexpected. It has it’s roadblocks and challenges (call them obstacles) and you know you need to overcome them to get to where you are going, but you don’t know when these obstacles will appear, so you always have to be ready to face them. You are not in control of this part. I see it as the universe putting the obstacles in your path to test you and provide you with a skill, that you are unaware you potentially have, to set you back on track to carry on with the task of achieving your quest (goal). This obstacle that you overcome has actually developed you without you knowing. So instead of travelling a straight line from beginning of your goal setting to the end where you achieve your goal, you have made a few detours, but always stay focused on the end result so that you feel victorious. So this is why my journey will never read like a book. It will never travel a straight line. Where’s the fun in that anyway.
Thank you for taking the time to read about the beginning of my personal awakening. Below is a bit of interesting reading from “Kundalini: Divine Energy. Divine Life” by Cyndi Dale
Love and light to you. The Universe has spoken.
As you’ll discover, these steps form a rather crooked and circuitous trail to enlightenment. They twist and bend not because they are convoluted, but because the path to divinity doesn’t often progress in linear or even circular fashion. In fact, the ladder to enlightenment might have been constructed by a child – and a rather happy-go-lucky, meandering on at that. The good news is that if it is approached with humour and maybe a manual like this one, the process can be fun.
It's all in the mind
To still the mind that runs with no end
Tending to cause mayhem where serenity recommend
A mammoth of items on your list set to complete
Against your own stopwatch you tend to compete
All projects you set out to conquer you must achieve
Not one of them tends to appear to give relief
A task once deemed simple no ending seems near
None will you conquer if you give into this fear
It’s been coming on for a little while now, but I have chosen to ignore the feelings involved with change and enlightenment. I have given in to the gut and decided to feel the feelings.
My blog is going to take on a little change in writing styles. You will see that most posts don’t follow any trend. They are a bit everywhere. There are posts about travel, poetry, food for thought, psychology-per-se, and just random other posts. That is what I am about. So it’s not really random, it’s me, it’s Dezy. It’s what makes me tick.
Of late, another part of me is starting to tick and I need to listen to this clock. It’s not a time bomb, it’s not a female biological one, it’s a ticking that is inside all of us, but you can only hear it if you really listen. It’s the spiritual side of us. Our spiritual awakening. And if you listen to it and take heed to its lessons in life, you can change your life for the better.
So as I was saying… My blog will take on a little change. I am adding to my blog and have now created a new tab and category called “Awakening” that I will be writing about my journey of healing my body, my mind, my soul and myself. I truly hope that it does inspire some of my readers, you, to also delve into. It’s not the “in thing” to do, although it is becoming a trend with yoga, meditation, and Ayurvedic medicine / practices, etc, but it’s something that is there in our soul, born into us that we have ignored and with the Eastern ways creeping into Western culture, is worth it for you and your journey through life from here on to explore.
I have started doing some reading, call it research, on the journey which I am setting on to make sure that it’s not just fairy-tales and peer pressure, that this is for me. So through-out my new posts on my ‘Awakening’, I will make reference to the books, excerpts and their authors. These are great books, worth the read. Some are easy reads, story book like, and some are a bit theoretical, as they are mostly written by psychologists who have analysed and practiced and partaken in the Eastern ways. So there are references for the ‘not so malleable mind’.
I’m sure at this stage of reading through this post, you would like to know why I decided to embark on this journey. My answer is that it’s been coming a long time. We use the phrases: “Everything happens for a reason”, ”Good things come to those who wait”, and all those little motivational clichéd sayings to motivate us and keep us going when things don’t go our way. Well, I believe that these sayings are not clichéd. They are gospel. The universe does have a purpose for everyone and everything does happen for a reason. There are signs everywhere giving you direction, and answers to your mind numbing questions, and we sometimes don’t see these signs. People come and go in our lives for reasons and we sometimes get upset or are elated when they come or go, but they were put in our path for a reason. For us to learn a lesson about life, our life, and about ourselves. I have chosen to see the signs and the reasons, and things are much clearer to me lately now that I am seeing this and finally learning the lessons as I they are taught to me, one at a time. And this is making me a stronger person. Not to the point that I am emotionless and made of stone, but to the point that I move on faster with pivotal or monumental events in my life (which is each one) because there is something greater out there waiting for me to learn, explore and experience in my life. All these events are giving me the skills to deal with what is coming (be it good or bad) but it’s a lesson none-the-less. And it’s my life, and I am going to live it and enjoy it. Not mope around and waste a day’s worrying about what I didn’t, could have, would have, should have, but what I can and what I will be doing every day from here on.
I started on this journey with a spark that Paulo Coelho‘s books struck. It started with “The Alchemist” and I steadily bought and read each one of his books and was inspired. In my subconscious, I learnt every lesson his books taught, but never practiced any of the lessons in my practical life. So I was doing all the theory and not applying the maths, so-to-speak, on my life’s day-to-day experiences. His books were the catalyst to this journey into my soul to find the gift which I was born with, but did not yet know I had, and did not know how to unlock its potential and start using it. Everyone is born with a gift. It’s our true reason for being on this earth.
We’ve all read, or most of us have, I’m sure, Graham Hancock‘s books on demigods. Books that have opened our eyes into thinking that they did once exist, but no longer do and leaving us wondering why is it that we are not borne demigods as mythology and ancient architecture and history portray once existed. My theory is that we are demigods ourselves. It’s just that we are working so hard at trying to make ourselves demigods that we are destroying our potential before we have even reached it, by inventing things that make us look better, i.e. technology, bigger and better buildings, making more money than our neighbour. Whilst this is a natural progress in our lives, it’s also a means of survival, we are working hard against what should come natural to us, and with all the blood sweat and tears we put into our daily survival, we are not getting any closer to becoming the demigods of yesteryear’s mythological achievements? So we are working harder, not smarter. This ‘Awakening’ is a way of working smarter. I’m not saying that I’m going to become a demigod, but I’m saying that I’m exploring this theory and bettering myself, starting with me.
With this said. I am going to leave you to ponder on my words above. And will start on my posts of my journey into my spiritual awakening and would love to hear from you on your thoughts, theories, challenges, etc.
Everything happens for a reason. The universe has spoken.
NO! Not another chain mail
Normally this isn’t something that I readily volunteer to take part in, ‘complete and pass on’ don’t even feature in my thought process, more like ‘delete’ is the first brain seismic activity that I associate with this. But I’m on holiday and I have time to myself for the first time in a very long time, and I’m in the mood for some smiles. I was tagged by Siobhan (@vonimoller), from Twitter, to be a part of the “11 Questions” survey (sounds better than chain mail), and now I’m “paying it forward”
Rules: 1. You must post these rules. 2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog. 3. Answer the questions the tagger (that’s me, Dezy) set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer. 4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post. 5. Go to their page or mention on twitter and tell them you have linked him or her. 6. No tag backs. 7. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ You legitimately have to tag 11 people. 8. Advise the tagger (that’s me, Dezy) that you have completed your part in the survey.
@MadameMichelle @BronyW @Tatibble @matthewsavides @TrevorvanZ @JemAtkins @SchweppsRocka @snoop_c @JayGibbs09 @DonoWhite @KateNokwe
Now pass on to 11 people or your computer is going to put on weight #stoprunning
We are in the 20th century and technology allows for a paperless, clutter-free environment, because everything that is necessary to help you survive and develop mentally or psychologically can be stored in a device ranging in dimensions from 13cm x 13cm to 72 inch. And when you tell a fellow earth-walker that you still read books or listen to or collect CD‘s, you are ridiculed and immediately given a sales pitch to try and convince you to become a drone in the Technology army.
There is nothing like feeling paper between your fingertips when you turn a page of a novel that has your zombie-state-like attention, or listening to old classic musical prodigies sing to you over the sound of a little authentic crackling sound which symbolises history, the vinyl. Or even putting an HB pencil to paper to write your thoughts on paper, like poetry, or a to do list or even a mind-map or brainstorming.
Well today, I decided to go back to the old ways because I found that I was more inspired to produce thoughts in my grey matter that inspired me if I wrote in a book that I related to. Not just any book. This has to be a book that I have carefully chosen out of many mass produced books that felt like an extension of my soul.
My New Testament Recorder
And like a child with a new toy, the second I got home, I sharpened my HB pencil and christened my book.
I named this book “My New Testament Recorder”. Aptly called this because I have consciously decided to change my future. I am in charge and control of my life. Only positive thoughts shall be written in My New Testament. All my goals, ideas and thoughts will be recorded in this book so as to never lose my way when days may seem to be dark and life seems to make me face in a direction I had no intention to face.
My New Testament is my map with clear directions and a compass to get me there, to where I am intended to cross a finish line in one of my life’s many scenic hiking trails.
by Sonya Derian
“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will tell you, I came to live out LOUD.” ~Émile Zola
1. Live your life on purpose. Not on “default.” Be Proactive. Make conscious and deliberate choices. When you don’t choose, circumstances choose for you and you are never leading: you are following or catching up—or worse, living in “default” mode.
2. Utilize your full potential. Give what you’re doing your best and fullest attention. Be here now. Even if you’re not where you want to be, giving it half your effort doesn’t move you forward. Master what you have at hand, for the sake of mastering it and something will shift.
3. Overcome your fear. Get out of your comfort zone. Find out you have a pulse. Let something give you butterflies in your stomach. This is how you know you’re alive—how you grow into something new. Every fear overcome is a freedom gained. Don’t know how to overcome fear? Do the thing you’re afraid of. Cross them off the list. Make it a game. Pretty soon, you will be invincible.
4. Discover a new talent. One of my favorite quotes by Martha Grimes is, “We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.” But we don’t find this out until we try something new. Learn a new instrument, take an art class, play with a digital camera, sign up for a salsa class, take up cooking, plant a garden, join toastmasters, pick up a needle and thread, try mountain climbing, go scuba diving, camping or kayaking. Find something that interests you and explore it. You never know what will come out of it.
5. Honor your word. When you strip everything else away, your word is all you’ve got. Do what you say you’re going to do. By honoring your word, you honor yourself. And it doesn’t feel good when you don’t. So, make it a habit. Value your integrity and keep your promises. It’s a good life practice. It’s a good business practice.
6. Create a new habit or break an old one. Who has dominion over your life—you or your habits? Make it a game. How many things can you get under your control? How many bad habits can you convert? There is a great sense of empowerment when you feel you are in charge of your life. This helps you get there.
7. Pay a stranger a compliment. Not only does it make someone else feel good, but it makes you feel good to compliment someone else. All of the sudden the world is small and the stranger next to us becomes our friend and we recognize that we’re all in this together.
8. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself. Bring a book. Bring something you’re working on. Bring a journal and use it to write up all the amazing qualities that you want in a partner or a friendship when it comes your way. Find somewhere that has music or wireless and plant yourself there. Have a meal, enjoy it. Treat yourself. You deserve it. Living out loud is playing out loud whether you have someone to join you or not. And you never know who you might meet or strike up a conversation with.
9. Take 100% responsibility for your life. If things aren’t working out in your favor, take note and ask yourself what your part in it is. Being a victim is passé, boring. There is no power in blaming other people. Don’t wait for other people to change. When you change, your world will follow suit.
10. Live in the question. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have. So do not impose limitations on yourself. Instead of saying you can’t get there, ask “How can I get there?” Live in the affirmation of possibility rather than the declaration of negativity. There is always a way, and it is being presented consistently, but you have to live in the question to be on the lookout for the answer.
11. Make more decisions for yourself. There is great power in making a decision. It’s a declaration. You don’t know what you want? Then look at what you don’t want and work backwards. I bet you do know what you want; you just haven’t been in the habit of asking yourself. Hey. That’s a new habit to change! (See #6)
12. Learn to say “No.” To live your best possible life, you need to learn how to say no to the things that aren’t serving you. The best barometer to measure this by is: if it isn’t a “hell yeah” (yippee, so fun, can’t wait), then it is most probably a no. If you have to talk yourself into it, it’s a no. Once you get comfortable saying no, everything becomes a matter of choice. Living a life of choice is a living a life of freedom.
13. Know your own value. Others may be more educated, skilled or talented in one or another area, but there is something magnificent and valuable about what you have to offer this world that, in comparison, is equal. Do not allow yourself or anyone else to diminish it. You have a learning disability? So did Dr. John Demartini and that’s what makes him the most powerful speaker today. Joe Vitale came from homelessness. Look at him now. Stop idolizing anyone else’s gifts and dismissing your own.
14. Give yourself permission. For everything. Permission to make mistakes. Permission to shine. Permission to look beautiful. Permission to accept (instead of correct or dismiss) praise. Permission to have bad days. Permission to get angry. Permission to cry, to laugh, to scream. Permission to take the day off. Permission to take a nap, go to sleep early. Permission to get a massage. Permission to do nothing. Permission to succeed. Life is about being here now, in all your full range of emotions, mood swings, wins and losses. Give yourself permission to live out loud today.
15. Own your own opinion. No one has to agree with you in order for your opinion to matter. Stop waiting for consensus. YOU matter. Your opinion matters. The nature of Living Out Loud is that some people will agree with you and some people won’t. You will NEVER get consensus. So, stop looking for it. The only question you have to ask is, does your opinion matter to you? Claim it. Own it. And know that with new information, it could change tomorrow. Life is transitory. Live in the evolution.
16. Do not punish yourself for past actions. Your past behavior was what you’ve done, but it is not who you are. Who you are is still unfolding. Mistakes, errors in judgments, and failures all add to our character and value. They make us human and compassionate and wise. To berate yourself for acquiring these valuable qualities is wrong, so stop it. A new beginning starts today.
17. Live in the realm of “possibility” rather than “probability.” Stay open at the top. You don’t know what the outcome can be. Statistics are made up of groups. You are an Individual. Be the individual that charts your own course. You don’t know what is possible for you until you find out.
18. Do not argue for your limitations, but instead focus on your strengths. We all have weaknesses, but we also have our strengths. What do you do well? Practice that. When you lead with your strengths, the rest follows suit. And miraculously, your limitations sort of disappear. What you focus on grows.
19. Practice gratitude. In a world of imperfections, it’s amazing how perfect things actually are. But sometimes we have to look for them. When your life’s circumstances aren’t working in your favor, the one thing you do have control over is your attitude. If you lead with gratitude, and create a habit of it, in short order, your life will change.
20. Be authentic. Thoreau said, “If I am not I, who will be?” Did you ever notice that the ones who are most successful are not the ones that follow the masses and trends, but the ones who stand in their own authentic expression and declare who they are? Regardless of who agrees with them? There is an expression that is uniquely yours and to dismiss it, is to dismiss the divine.
21. Own your own power. The answers are not outside of you. Own what you know. The more you practice this, the more you hone the powerful magnetic field that surrounds you and the more power you emit in your convictions, knowing and in your life. Your results will confirm this.
22. Stop Complaining. Complaining is a form of passive victimhood. Ask yourself instead, why is this happening to me and what part do I play in this picture? Then work on your part of the solution. Have you ever found yourself not setting a boundary and allowing someone to take advantage of you? Or not taking care of yourself in a situation and getting burned by the outcome? We are always the single common denominators in our lives and we are the only ones we have control over. Use what you are complaining about as your inner clues as to where you need to start taking better care of yourself.
23. Practice “being” and have nothing to prove. Know your own value with or without results. Your value is in your human being-ness not your human doing-ness. In a society that is wrapped up in image, this is sometimes difficult to practice. People ask what you do, not who you are. But a person who knows their own value, does not have to prove it.
24. Be of service. Offer your help where you can and do your part in making the world a friendly place. We are all in this together. As Gandhi preached: be the change that you wish to see happen. You would be surprised by the impact you have.
25. Love generously. Spread random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty. Hatred is already rampant. We need to tip the scales the other way. Love is a far more powerful emotion and has far reaching consequences. Living out loud means loving Out loud. And ironically, the more you love, the more love you have to give.
26. Find your bliss and live your passion. Again, don’t know what that is? Then it’s time to find out! Your emotions give away clues. When your life has spun out of control and you are finding yourself in a tizzy, go back to what makes you happiest and do that. The more you follow this thread, the more you are leading with the heart. There are always ways to monetize your passion, to find ways to make a living at what you love, but first you have to discover it. Your emotions don’t lie. Follow their lead.
27. Stop waiting. Life is happening right now. Don’t wait for the right career, the perfect relationship, the landfill of money. Make the best of what you have right now and be creative with it. Don’t put your life on pause. Live with the possibility that what you are waiting for can arrive tomorrow, and live your best life today.
28. Let other people off the hook. They didn’t mean harm, and even if they did, it hurt them more than it hurt you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and rise even taller. Don’t use anyone as your excuse to shirk your responsibility to live a bigger life. Victimhood is not a badge of honor. Overcoming adversity is. Use success and joy as your barometer. And march on.
29. Use co-creation to help you. We are always working in conjunction with invisible forces. They want to create on your behalf, but they are waiting for your leadership to direct them. Living out loud means acknowledging that we are a big presence with a big force of nature at our disposal. We don’t underestimate our power. We utilize it.
30. March to the beat of your own drum and stay the course. Do you hear your own music, but find yourself dancing to the tune of someone else’s beat? Stop it. Were you told at any point in your life that your own music was the wrong kind? Re-Consider. The symphony of the world’s vibration, the hum of its tune, is the sound OM (aum). Your task is to find your own Om—your life force vibration, life pattern or purpose, your song or melody . Find it, claim it, express it, and live it. Never give up on yourself. You are who you are. It’s time to honor that and make use of it. Stay the course.
For many of us, this is already a way of life. But to others, some of these practices may feel daunting. To you, I say this: just start. You may not succeed 100% of the time, but like a friend once said, “Life is a hard hat zone, we’re always under construction.”
Bloom where you are planted. Work from the inside out. Make the commitment to yourself and get started.
Find your “OM”. Claim It. Own it. Express It. Live it. You are divinely supported.
Original article: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/live-your-life-out-loud-30-ways-to-get-started/
Movember Madness
If you are growing your MO for Movember, let myself and my readers know. Pop me a mail with your MO and I’ll publish it on my blog.
A tainted glimpse of an untouchable truth
displays itself on a platter that feeds two.
The hunger concealed behind a carnival of masks
pealing off the layers proves to be an invigorating task.
A boundary being shaped by a biased intent,
Guilt has been summoned but kept at arm’s length.
A batter of temptation is poured into a mould
placed in an oven with a temperature set to scold.
Mischievous intent captures a forbidden desire
curious to discover what outcome might transpire.
Loaded emotions playing Russian roulette
trying to escape reality’s commanding silhouette.
Image via Wikipedia
A memory that I remember very clearly and still think about it often, is one which happened when I was a teenager. I was staring out of the car’s window, on the way to a family get together with my parents,and I remember thinking that I must make sure that when I grow up, I must never lose my imagination, and I must never ignore or forget the child within me. But it happened. While life was happening to me, I lost my inner child, my imagination, and I didn’t even realise……
When a child watches Mickey Mouse, Disney characters or cartoons, it believes the characters are real, so it forms a relationship with them and they become a child’s friends. It gets excited when it sees them, interacts with them, even responding to them when they ask it questions, even though it’s only an animation on TV, these characters are real to a child. And Disneyland was born, where Mickey Mouse and his friends live.
I always thought that Disneyland was overrated and that it was just another way for Walt’s estate and board of trustees to make money (it’s not far from the truth either, but regardless). I never entertained the idea of going to Disneyland, but I did end up going in November 2010. I called that trip, “The Inner Child rescue mission”.
The first foot crossed the threshold of Disneyland Paris’s Theme park and it felt like I was a child again. All I wanted to do was skip and run around and go discovering. Even when I saw people dressed in Mickey or Minnie Mouse costumes (they were called “The Cast”), I would run up to them and give them a hug. The great thing was that other adults did not look at me like I was insane, because they were in under the same child-like spell that I was under. Disneyland helped me find my inner child again and it was a liberating, soul-awakening experience. Walking through the Theme parks, I relived moments from my childhood. Flashbacks to moments when I would relate and form relationships with these animated, yet real-to-me characters. Having innocent fun was a refreshing experience and was much needed.
I rescued my Inner Child, and I have since protected it, entertained it, nurtured it and listened to it. I highly recommend a Disneyland experience as a remedy to any person searching for the inner child they lost whilst life was happening.
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