Category Archives: Awakening

Manifestation Miracle
Mar 26 2012

Fear, the final frontier

We dream of a better world for ourselves, one where we know that the smile on our faces is a direct reflection of our heart and soul’s true feelings.  But we face an obstacle when trying to get to this better world, ourselves.  We are our own obstacle, because we fear change. To get to this better world, means we will have to change something, and many times we choose to avoid the change because of the fear of the unknown.

I needed to change things in my world, drastically and quickly.  Everything that was happening, was happening to me over and over, different events, but same outcomes.  I knew what I had to change to have a different outcome, but I was not brave enough to take that step, because I was in a comfort zone, a zone that was actually a death trap for me.  How ironic.  I made many excuses as to why I could not take that step to make the change, but that’s all they were, excuses, because I feared the unknown, not knowing if taking the step would end up being the right one to take?

I knew that I was actually the biggest obstacle that I had to overcome, to have a happily ever after.  I doubted my self-worth, thinking I was not capable of being successful in any other environment, other than the one I was now in, and I confirmed this thought with recollections of previous experiences, where I failed in something I was trying to achieve.  This thought made me more depressed.

This was one of the catalysts for my ‘Awakening’. I needed to feel more confident and believe in myself.  A few things that helped me in this, were meditating, calming the mind, using my intuition, and ‘removing’ myself from the world around me, to enjoy quiet time, where I could reflect.  The hive of activity and the ‘noise’ from the world around me deafened me, so-to-speak.  I could not hear my own thoughts and focus on what I needed to because I was distracting my mind, from the real matters at hand which frightened me.  The frightening thoughts of what I really needed to do to ‘activate’ change.

Free yourself of memory and you’ll be capable of greatness. – Paulo Coelho

And this is exactly what I did.  I chose to forget the times where I failed and remembered the times where I succeeded.  I filled my mind with positive thoughts and after a bit of time I started believing in myself.  Yes, I’m human, of course a doubt came into my mind now and then, but I counter-acted this thought with a positive one as soon as possible, so as not to ruin everything I had worked on to make me feel good about myself.

I started to then notice that there were ‘signs’ that kept ‘popping’ up around me, confirming that I needed to action this change in my life.  So I started with an action plan to make sure that the change was going to go smoothly.  I wrote down every goal, every doubt, every positive outcome, every little thing that I was questioning.  I needed to visualise this and make sure I felt confident in what I was setting out to achieve with this change.   I was focused and I knew after much deliberation, this was the right move and I knew when I had to make my move.

So I resigned from my job.  I had nothing as a back-up, no other job to go to, but I knew that this was what I needed in my life right at that moment.  I felt good.  I felt confident.  I felt motivated.  Then I felt Fear!  The fear took over and I felt like I was going to fail.  Everything I had worked so hard on to make sure that this was what I needed to do, I doubted.  I started to doubt myself and my self-worth all over again.  I went into hibernation and didn’t want to let the world know of this fear, in case it confirmed my own suspicions.  I didn’t know what to do?  Who to turn to?  I started to get irritated and snap at people and I wanted to just run away or beg for my job back.  What was I going to do?  I was panicking.

But slowly, slowly, I started to come to my senses.  I started writing down everything I was good at and I revisited my action plan.  I started to feel the fear leave me and was starting to feel confident and positive again.  And then it happened….

The law of attraction 

The law of attraction is the attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together. It manifests through the power of creation, everywhere and in multiple ways. Even the law of gravity is part of the law of attraction. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations and circumstances.

The law of attraction manifests through your thoughts, by drawing to you thoughts and ideas of a similar kind, people who think like you, and corresponding situations and circumstances. It is the law and power that brings together people of similar interests, who unite into various groups, such as political groups, sports teams, sports fans, fraternities, etc.

Can you take advantage of this law? Yes, you can!

You do so, through creative visualization and affirmations. By visualizing a mental image of what you want to achieve or by repeating positive statements, called affirmations, you create and bring into your life what you visualize or repeat in your mind. In other words, you use the power of your mind, thoughts, imagination and words.

There have always been people, from ancient times till now, who knew about this law and how to use it. They knew that repeating the same thought day after day, with interest and feeling, causes it to materialize and manifest in their lives.

The moment I left work, I started getting job offers, ones I never dreamed I would get, but I declined them.  Even though I knew these would solve a few of the problems I had, I did not want to veer from my action plan.  I knew that the timing was not right and that I needed to stay positive. I trusted and acted on my intuition. And I was right.  The job that I needed for me to feel whole again, and to make the right things happen for me to achieve my goals, arrived.

I am now on track with my action plan.  I start my new job in a week, and even though I do not know where it will take me, I know that it is a good step in the right direction.  I have taken myself out of my comfort zone and moved away from the snowball effect of feeling like a failure, because I feared change.  I know that there will be a few fears that I will need to overcome in the coming months, but this one small step has given me a courage to take a leap of faith and achieve a better world for myself and my daughter.

Fear was my final frontier.  Fear is no longer a factor.

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perfect wave
Mar 16 2012

Patience is a direct relative to fate

No longer will I wince, or pull a funny face
When sympathetic gestures, contain the clichéd phrase
That saturated phrase, of ‘Good things come to those who wait
Because I have learned, that patience is directly related to fate

Life’s path on which I currently travel
Astonishing opportunities before me unravel
Rewarded with wisdom and discovery of self
Ambition and confidence are my new-found wealth

Battles lost in the past, in wars against my fate
Irreversible regrets, caused my confidence to deflate
Experience has equipped me, with tools to understand
Patience is the remedy, when things don’t go as planned

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Feb 4 2012

You will meet people who may not stay for long but leave an imprint in your heart.

Reblogged from My Neon Sign Lullaby 我的霓虹搖籃曲:

Click to visit the original post

I don’t know what exactly is that drew me about this particular Sex & the City episode: An American Girl in Paris but it did. Perhaps, I feel a connection with each and every one of the characters. I admire Charlotte for her conversion to Judaism and not giving up to become a mother. I admire Miranda for putting her family first and showing love to her husband’s mother.

Read more… 212 more words

multi sensory
Feb 2 2012

Sharing is caring

Cosmic Soul

 

 

This awakening has tweaked my craving to read more than one book at a time.  I’m currently reading 5 books, but I’m not gloating, I just can’t read a whole book all at once when it has to do with ‘self help’ because I need to process everything that I take in and feel that the book did it’s job.  So I read a bit of one book, then read another, whilst I’m processing what I read in the previous book, and so the cycle goes.

In my current selection of reading material, I found an excerpt which I felt the urge to share with you, as it sums up perfectly what I’m currently experiencing and sharing with you.  So this post is purely to share this wealth of knowledge with you.

 

 

 

 

 

This piece is from the book, “The Seat of the Soul“, by Gary Zukav.

During the years that I was writing The Dancing Wu Li Masters and after, I was drawn again and again to the writings of William James, Carl Jung, Benjamin Lee Whorf, Niels Bohr and Albert Einstein.  I returned to them repeatedly.  I found in them something special, although it was not until later that I was able to understand that specialness: these fellow humans reached for something greater than they were able to express directly through their work.  They saw more than they could express in the language  of psychology or linguistics or physics, and they sought to share what they saw.  It is what they sought to share through the medium of their work that drew me to them.

They were mystics.  That is my word.  They would not use such language, but they knew it.  They feared that their careers might become contaminated by association with those who did not work within the scientific model, but in the depths of their own thoughts they each saw much to much to be limited by the five senses, and they were not.  Their works contribute not only to the evolution of psychology, linguistics and physics, but also to the evolution of those who read them.  They have the capability to change those who touch them in ways that also cannot be expressed directly in the terms of psychology, or linguistics, or physics.

As I came to understand, in retrospect, the magnetic quality that these works held for me, I came to understand that what motivated these men was not Earthly prizes or the respect of colleagues, but that they put their souls and minds on something and reached the extraordinary place where the mind could no longer produce data of the content that they wanted, and they were in the territory of inspiration where their intuitions accelerated and they knew that there was something more than the realm of time and space and matter, something more than physical life.  They knew it.  They could not necessarily articulate this clearly because they were not equipped to talk about such things, but they felt it and their writings reflected it.

In other words, I came to understand that what motivated these men, and many others, was in fact something of great vision that comes from beyond the personality.  Each of us is now being drawn, in one way or another, to that same great vision.  It is more than a vision.  It is an emerging force.  It is the next step in our evolutionary journey.  Humanity, the human species, is longing now to touch that foce, to shed that which interferes with clear contact.  Much of the difficulty in doing this lies in the fact that the vocabulary with which to address this new force, which is indeed the eternal forces, is not yet born.

In this moment and in this hour of human evolution this proper vocabulary and means of addressing that which longs to transcend religiosity and spirituality and assume the position of authentic power is longing to be born.  We need to give that which we as a species are now touching consciously for the first time a vocabulary that is not clouded so that it can be identified clearly in the acts and judgements of the human race, so that it can be seen clearly, and not through veils of mystery or mysticism, but simply as the authentic power that moves the force fields of this Earth of ours.

As a way of talking about what we are and what we are becoming, I have used the terms five-sensory and multi-sensory.  Multisensory is not better than five-sensory.  It is simply more appropriate now.  As one system of human experience winds down and another, more advanced system emerges the older system may appear by comparison to be lacking, but from the perspective of the Universe, the language of comparison is not the language of lesser and better, but of limitation and opportunity.

The experiences of the multisensory human are less limited than the experiences of the five-sensory human.  They provide more opportunities for growth and development and more opportunites to avoid unnecessary difficulties.  I have contrasted the experiences of the five-sensory human with the experiences of the multisensory human in each instance to make their differences as clear as possible, but this does not mean that the five-sensory phase of our evolution, the phase from which we are emerging, is negative in comparison to the phase of our evolution that we are entering, the multisensory phase.  It is simply that it is now no longer appropriate just as there came a time when the use of candles became inappropriate because of electricity, but the advent of electricity did not make the candle power negative.

Who among us is an expert on the human experience?  We have only the gift of sharing perceptions that hopefully can help those on their journey.  There is no such thing as an expert on the human experience.  The human experience is an experience in movement and thought and form, and, in some cases, an experiment in movement and thought and form.  The most that we can do is comment on the movement, the though and the form, but those comments are of great value if they can help people to learn to move gracefully, to think clearly, to form – like artists – the matter of their lives.

We are in a time of deep change.  We will move through this change more easily if we are able to see the road upon which we are traveling, our destination, and what it is that is in motion.  There are so many ways to wisdom and to the heart.  This is our greatest richness, and the one that gives the most joy.

We have much to do together.
Let us do it in wisdome and love and joy.
Let us make this the human experience.

The universe has spoken

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intuition
Jan 29 2012

Intuition set in stone

Chapter 3

A quick note from me:  If you have been reading my previous posts, you might be thinking, what is the whole point of these posts?  I know that they seem a bit personal to share and they are not worth the read, but I feel that my opening up and sharing my experience with you might help you realise that there is something you have been missing out on in your life and that you are at a crossroads and you are looking for something more to make you feel like you are living and not just existing.  Some of my experiences could relate to you and inspire you to look inside yourself and find your true power within.  And maybe even lead you to discover the gift that you have been blessed with.

As a child, I use to love Turquoise stones, Tiger’s Eye, Moonstones and Amethysts.  I never knew that these stones were crystals; I just loved the look of them, especially set in jewellery.  I also bought a Quartz crystal when I was in high school, because it was a beautiful pendant on a necklace.

Little did I know that all this would have relevance in my future.  As a child you are more in touch with the unknown and your intuition.  You have not fully developed your mind or been exposed to all the elements of society.  Your spiritual gift has not yet been suppressed.

After Peter Atwood delivered the message from my guides and recommended I get a Quartz crystal or Amethyst, I set out to buy the crystal using my gut feel to choose the one that ‘called’ to me.  Whilst choosing the crystal, I was compelled to pick up other stones and surprisingly, I picked up Turquoise stones, Tiger’s Eye, Moonstones and Amethysts.  I read up on what the attributes of these stones were and was surprised to find out they were the essence of who I was as a child before I was tainted by society.

Moonstone

Moonstone attributes
Moonstone is a ‘stone of new beginnings.’ As its name suggests, it is strongly connected to the moon and to the intuition.  Like the moon, the stone is reflective and reminds us that, as the moon waxes and wanes, so everything is part of a cycle of change.  Its most powerful effect is that of calming the emotions.  Moonstone makes conscious the unconscious ……

Tiger's Eye

Tiger’s Eye attributes
Tiger’s Eye combines the earth energy with the energies of the sun to create a high vibrational state that is nevertheless grounded, drawing the spiritual energies to earth.  It is a protective stone that was traditionally carried as a talisman against ill wishing and curses.  It assists in accomplishing goals, recognising inner resources and promoting clarity of intention.

Turquoise Stone

Turquoise stone attributes
Turquoise is a most efficient healer, providing solace for the spirit and well-being for the body.  It is a protective stone and has been used for amulets since time immemorial. Placed on the third eye, it enhances intuition and meditation.  On the throat chakra, it releases old vows, inhibitions and prohibitions, and allows the soul to express itself once more.

Amethyst

Amethyst attributes
Amethyst is extremely beneficial to the mind, calming or stimulating as appropriate.  It turns thoughts away from the mundane into tranquillity and deeper understanding and helps you feel less scattered, more focused and in control of your faculties.  It enhances the assimilation of new ideas and connects cause with effect.

All this talk of the stones being able to affect you in some way or another might seem a bit far-fetched.  But my theory is that the earth survives on an ecosystem.  And we are a part of this ecosystem.  Like radiation is invincible and can affect us, so the power of the stone that comes from the earth can affect us.  If you think that the feeling that a stone can help you is all in the subconscious, then it is still doing its job, is it not?

I bought a Quartz crystal, as Peter suggested, and went home to cleanse it.  I wore it, but something in my gut said this wasn’t the crystal I was supposed to wear to protect me.  And immediately I remembered the crystal I had bought when I was in highschool.  I dug around and found it.  This was the crystal.  The one I was meant to wear.  And I knew then that I was more in touch with my intuition as a child, and I wasn’t even aware of it.

The very thought that these stones had some effect on me, and that their attributes played a role in my life, sparked a series of thoughts.  I was in a way doubting that I had a gift, but now I was starting to believe that it was true, true not just for me, but for everyone.  Everything I was experiencing and reading about, had more relevance in my life now.  And had I known that I had a gift that I needed to develop when I was younger, I now know that it was not the right time for me to develop it.  The universe timed everything perfectly because I had to live and gain wisdom in order to understand.  Understanding only really happens after the fact.  You have to experience, to fully understand anything in life.

The layers were just unfolding so beautifully before my eyes and I started seeing the light (so-to-speak) in this development process.

I was curious to find out more about the power of the crystals, so I bought a book on crystals and went out to invest in more, and I made a conscious effort to use my intuition when choosing the right ones for me.  During my crystal hunt, I realised that my breathing patterns changed and that I was breathing heavier and deeper.  It was as if I was having a reaction to them.  I disappeared into a little world of my own, as if I was the only person in the store, with no one around me.  I picked up an Epidote and instantly felt something jump in my stomach.  I was a bit confused, but also fascinated by this, so I put the Epidote down, and picked it up again to see if this feeling in my stomach was a figment of my imagination.  As I picked it up, I experienced the same feeling in my stomach, a little bit like the feeling of butterflies, but a bit more intense.  I knew right at that moment, that this stone had a powerful connection to me and I was meant to have it.

Epidote and Quartz

Epidote attributes
Epidote is a stone of increase. It has a tendency to increase anything it touches, whether the thing it touches is energy or a material object. It is a stone that enhances emotional and spiritual growth. It cleanses repressed emotions once and for all. It opens the way for those who have denied spiritual growth, and those drawn to Epidote are being rocked forcefully into spiritual awakening. Epidote also clears the emotional body aura. It stimulates perception, participation and interaction as well as personal power. It also dispels being critical and closed-mindedness. Epidote is also said to promote patience.

All the pieces of my adventure puzzle were starting to fall into place.  It’s as if every experience I ever had in my life were connected in some way.  I was looking forward to finding out what piece of this puzzle was going to fall next into place.

The universe has spoken.

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invitation to live
Jan 21 2012

My invitation to live has arrived

I need saving

The skies were alive a harmonious blue
The sun’s warm rays my life were caressing
Life had taken on a beautiful hue
Finally happiness had given me its blessing

A lightning bolt struck down on my earth
The ground beneath me parted open a gaping hole
A turmoil filled tornado echoed a devilish mirth
All joy in an instant snatched out of my control

The final straw is all I exclaimed
Lost and alone and suicide prone
No solution it seemed had remained
The end manifested its death march tone

The good life which I had with passion once lived
Flashed picture perfect moments before my eyes
But a spark in my soul miraculously survived
The universe’s message was actually a blessing in disguise

This was the sign which so long I had awaited
My life’s new adventure’s co-ordinates had appeared
The moment I had eagerly arms wide open anticipated
Eventually my invite to happily ever after had arrived, I cheered

A new life in the palm of my hands

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Freeing the mind
Jan 18 2012

The brighter light at the end of the tunnel

Chapter 2

Freeing the mind

A new world of discovery had opened up to me.  The possibility of a bright future and a happily-ever-after was looking to become more of a reality for me. Morbid and mundane had changed to peaches and cream. So I took on my new worldly awakening head on with determination, enthusiasm and passion.

My previous post (I must heart myself) might suggest that I seemed a little depressed. Although my disposition was seemingly a happy one, I truthfully (thinking about it now) was not entirely happy inside. Likened to being depressed. I now have a wonderful way of changing the depressed moments which I still experience (and everyone does) by imagining it to be a wave. I don’t try and cheer myself up and try to forget or ignore the depression, instead I ride the wave of depression because I know that there is a lesson to be learned from it. I examine what motivated this dark emotion and find the reason for it and deal with it. It might be that I am not happy with my appearance, or that I feel lonely, but after a careful thought process, I find my answer and I know that if I ever encounter this specific moment again, I will know how to deal with it and not be hard on myself. I then pick myself up, dust myself off, smile at my achievement and continue living. So I ride that wave bravely and passionately because I know that there is a soft white sandy beach that I will eventually land on after riding this wave. I wanted to find out if more people do this, so I asked Alon, a friend of mine, if he has ‘off days’ and upon describing how he handles his ‘dark moments’ I was pleased to hear that he goes through the same process.

Again referring to my earlier posts, I mentioned my father’s lack of displaying affection or emotion to me. I would like to clarify: I did resent my father for this for many years, and I tried to change him to be the father that I needed and wanted him to be, but this has never come into fruition. I could not change him, so I had to learn to change to get a favourable result.  I have now learned to accept my father and appreciate him for his method of showing me love in the only way he knows how to, by being supportive and by providing for me so that I never go without, even to this very day. The reason for my acceptance is that I realised that this is how his parents displayed their love to him. So he is being a father the only way he knows how to.  He was not given the skills to change his ways. The cycle of his parents actions were instilled on them by their parents. Now it’s up to me to stop this cycle and start a new one for my daughter and future generations. It starts with me.

Continuing now where I left off in Chapter 1.

The more I read, the more I wanted to learn, the more excited I felt about finding a new lease on life. I became more aware and conscious of myself, my actions and reactions. It was interesting to discover in the book Eastern body, Western mind (by Anodea Judith) that all my problems stemmed from my upbringing.

Our lives can be affected from as early as our developmental stages in the womb. When we are born, our parents teach us life skills and instill their morals, beliefs and values upon us as they were taught by their parents, or as they see fit. We are conditioned to believe that this is the right way and the only way. As we grow up, some of us are fortunate enough to realise that this is not actually who we are and change the conditioning to what we feel is the right way in our life (liken it to the awakening), and then there are some of us who never realise this and carry on the cycle of a conditioned life.

There is a fantastic book which explains this perfectly called, The four agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book was a gift from Nick to me which I am grateful for as it has added value to my life and my journey. Here’s a very interesting excerpt from this book.

“We are born with the capacity to learn how to dream, and the humans who live before us teach us how to dream the way society dreams. The outside dream has so many rules that when a new human is born, we hook the child’s attention and introduce these rules into his or her mind. The outside dream uses Mom and Dad, the schools, and religion to teach us how to dream……….

The adults around us hooked our attention and put information into our minds through repetition. That is the way we learned everything we know. By using our attention we learned a whole reality, a whole dream. We learned how to behave in society: what to believe, what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is beautiful and what is ugly; what is right and what is wrong. It was all there already – all that knowledge, all those rules and concepts about how to behave in the world…………

The outside dream hooks our attention and teaches us what to believe, beginning with the language that we speak. Language is the code for understanding and communication between humans. Every letter, every word in each language is an agreement…. Once we understand the code, our attention is hooked and the energy is transferred from one person to another.

It was not your choice to speak English. You didn’t choose your religion or your moral values – they were already there before you were born. We never had the opportunity to choose what to believe or what not to believe. We never chose even the smallest of these agreements. We didn’t even choose our own name.”

After reading this, I was even more addicted to my journey, but I was also slightly confused. I felt like I was making the right choice by taking this journey, but I was also feeling uneasy and at a cross-roads, so my friend Elismha suggested I go to a clairvoyant that she had gone to, Peter Attwood, to get some direction. I was not very comfortable with the idea of going to a clairvoyant because I believe that any seed that is planted in the mind, the subconscious takes and turns it into a tree. In other words, your future is written by your mind based on another person’s words, planting an idea, better known as subliminal conditioning. Cognitive dissonance.

But Elismha assured me that he was not a fortune teller. He merely made everything that you already knew more real. You know when you are aware of your thoughts and aware of what you should do in life, but you are too afraid to action because you are not sure of what the outcome might be?  Like taking a risk.  Peter would extract these thoughts that you already pondered on and assisted you in making the right decision by purely acknowledging them out loud and nudging you in taking the right course of action on them.

So I made the appointment and had a seating with Peter. I was very nervous when I arrived, like the nervous you get when you are about to write an exam. But the moment he opened the door, he gave me such a wonderful, warm, welcoming hug, I immediately felt his positive energy emitting from his soul, that I felt comfortable in an instant and was ready to take in all he had to say. Many thoughts were acknowledged and my path in life started to feel like it was getting some direction. Many emotions were felt during this time too, and then there was a pivotal moment. It seemed that Peter had come to an end, when he took a breath and looked at me and said, “Your angels are telling me that you have a gift. It is a very powerful gift, and they are asking you to develop this gift”. Everything seemed to brighten up at that very moment that he voiced my angels’ message to me, and I immediately felt uplifted, knowing that my intuition was right all along. He then advised me to buy a Quartz crystal or Amethyst to protect me….

And this opened another chapter for me on my journey of awakening.

We must not be afraid of what we learn about ourselves. Sometimes we prefer to be ignorant and carry on with life with blinkers on because life is easier to handle that way. We are afraid to delve and analyse in a spiritual way into our inner being for fear that we might break down our walls that we have spent the beginning and majority of our lives building up, as a means of survival, fearing that we might become weak and fail at life. But questioning our inner being does make us stronger. We learn things about ourselves that we never knew and this can spark a new passion in our lives, awakening a part of our soul with a light that is brighter than the one at the end of the tunnel.

Love and light.  The universe has spoken.

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life
Jan 14 2012

A healthy serving of wisdom

A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 note. In the room of 200  he asked, “Who would like this $20 note?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you, but first, let me do this. ” He proceeded to crumple up the $20 note. He then asked, “Who still wants it…?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” & he dropped it on the ground & started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled & dirty. “Now, who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air. “My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled & ground into the dirt by the decisions we make & the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special. Don’t EVER forget it. “

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