This is my yellow brick road

Introduction

I have always been open-minded, caring, respectful to other people’s ways and helpful to others.  Living by the motto, ‘Do unto others as you’d have done unto you’.  If people were to describe me, they would use words like: outgoing, friendly, happy, approachable, lively, passionate, helpful, knowledgeable.  And that is who I am fundamentally.

I come from a very supportive, close and loving family.  Mother showers me with love on the emotional and affectionate side.  Dad shows love by providing for us our entire life so that we never went without, on the emotional and affectionate side not so much once I hit puberty and now whilst growing up.  And believe it or not, I have found this to be one of my reasons for being who I am today.  So I thank him for this, but at the same time, I wonder if he knows what harm he has done (I’m saying this in a very light reprimanding tone).

Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for my family and all they have done for me throughout my life.  I am grateful and privileged.  So you’re most probably wondering why I am telling you this…  You will soon be enlightened in my future posts….

Majority of the relationships that I have had in my life have been with men that paid a lot of attention to me and made me feel like I was their everything, and as the relationship progressed, the honeymoon phase ended (so-to-speak) leading to a series of events that ended the relationship and ended up leaving me feeling more insecure and less appreciated, not worthy.  It killed my ego and I would have to start all over again in building myself up.  I found this to be very trying on me and I slowly slowly started respecting myself less and less because of this rejection.  This cycle also seemed true of new friendships that I made.  I would be noticed, and be appreciated and in return I would help them fix up their lives.  Make them more confident and make them feel like a somebody and not too long after, our friendship would fizzle away and I would be left alone and in turmoil again.  Not worthy, more insecure and less appreciated.  But this hasn’t killed me.  It has only made me stronger.  And this is where my journey into my spiritual awakening began.

One morning I woke up and realised that I had “Stray dog syndrome”.  Taking in the strays and finding them new homes in their new lives that I helped them build with my passionate disposition and love that I had to give in abundance.  And I asked myself:  Why do I follow the same patterns that are now seeming to be taking on a tumble-weed affect?  Why do people not stay in my life?  Why am I not appreciated?  Why do people not give me the same in return that I give them? Why am I giving so much of myself to others?  Why am I not giving myself the same amount of love and passion to right my life like I do for others?  Why am I not respecting myself and throwing myself at anyone who pays attention to me? Many questions!  There are more, but you get the idea.  And I wonder if you are nodding your head and relating to any of this.

Insecure

This was an awakening for me.  It made me get up and do something and start changing my life for the better.  I’m not there yet, as it is a work in progress, in fact my life, just like everyone’s, will always be a work in progress, but it will all be worth it and I will do it proudly.

So I am taking my experiences and my awakening and using this to base my spiritual awakening journey on.  This is part of my life’s lessons, so I will not judge myself, but merely be grateful to the universe for providing me with the skills to move forward on my exciting life adventure.

In the coming posts, I will take you through many lessons I have learned and ones that I am still learning.  You might think that the posts, the thoughts, the sequences and series of events seem too mixed up, that they don’t read like a book and that they are just everywhere, but this is how I am learning.  This is how the lessons are appearing to me.  I don’t always see signs because I’m not always concentrating or looking for them.  I will attempt to put this into perspective; your visions and goals may sometimes seem clear to you and you know what you want to achieve, what the outcome is that you are expecting and you put steps in place to get to these end results.  But life is unexpected.  It has it’s roadblocks and challenges (call them obstacles) and you know you need to overcome them to get to where you are going, but you don’t know when these obstacles will appear, so you always have to be ready to face them.  You are not in control of this part.  I see it as the universe putting the obstacles in your path to test you and provide you with a skill, that you are unaware you potentially have, to set you back on track to carry on with the task of achieving your quest (goal).  This obstacle that you overcome has actually developed you without you knowing.  So instead of travelling a straight line from beginning of your goal setting to the end where you achieve your goal, you have made a few detours, but always stay focused on the end result so that you feel victorious.  So this is why my journey will never read like a book.  It will never travel a straight line.  Where’s the fun in that anyway.

Thank you for taking the time to read about the beginning of my personal awakening.  Below is a bit of interesting reading from “Kundalini: Divine Energy. Divine Life” by Cyndi Dale

Love and light to you.  The Universe has spoken.

As you’ll discover, these steps form a rather crooked and circuitous trail to enlightenment.  They twist and bend not because they are convoluted, but because the path to divinity doesn’t often progress in linear or even circular fashion.  In fact, the ladder to enlightenment might have been constructed by a child – and a rather happy-go-lucky, meandering on at that.  The good news is that if it is approached with humour and maybe a manual like this one, the process can be fun.

Advertisements

10 comments on “This is my yellow brick road

    • Thank you so much for your following my blog and for reading my post. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Love and light

  1. Pingback: Yellow Brick Code - Emerald City - Wizard Of OzChamber Of Wizdom

  2. Pingback: I must heart myself « My Chronic Life

Be daring! Be different! Write a comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s