Fear, the final frontier

We dream of a better world for ourselves, one where we know that the smile on our faces is a direct reflection of our heart and soul’s true feelings.  But we face an obstacle when trying to get to this better world, ourselves.  We are our own obstacle, because we fear change. To get to this better world, means we will have to change something, and many times we choose to avoid the change because of the fear of the unknown.

I needed to change things in my world, drastically and quickly.  Everything that was happening, was happening to me over and over, different events, but same outcomes.  I knew what I had to change to have a different outcome, but I was not brave enough to take that step, because I was in a comfort zone, a zone that was actually a death trap for me.  How ironic.  I made many excuses as to why I could not take that step to make the change, but that’s all they were, excuses, because I feared the unknown, not knowing if taking the step would end up being the right one to take?

I knew that I was actually the biggest obstacle that I had to overcome, to have a happily ever after.  I doubted my self-worth, thinking I was not capable of being successful in any other environment, other than the one I was now in, and I confirmed this thought with recollections of previous experiences, where I failed in something I was trying to achieve.  This thought made me more depressed.

This was one of the catalysts for my ‘Awakening’. I needed to feel more confident and believe in myself.  A few things that helped me in this, were meditating, calming the mind, using my intuition, and ‘removing’ myself from the world around me, to enjoy quiet time, where I could reflect.  The hive of activity and the ‘noise’ from the world around me deafened me, so-to-speak.  I could not hear my own thoughts and focus on what I needed to because I was distracting my mind, from the real matters at hand which frightened me.  The frightening thoughts of what I really needed to do to ‘activate’ change.

Free yourself of memory and you’ll be capable of greatness. – Paulo Coelho

And this is exactly what I did.  I chose to forget the times where I failed and remembered the times where I succeeded.  I filled my mind with positive thoughts and after a bit of time I started believing in myself.  Yes, I’m human, of course a doubt came into my mind now and then, but I counter-acted this thought with a positive one as soon as possible, so as not to ruin everything I had worked on to make me feel good about myself.

I started to then notice that there were ‘signs’ that kept ‘popping’ up around me, confirming that I needed to action this change in my life.  So I started with an action plan to make sure that the change was going to go smoothly.  I wrote down every goal, every doubt, every positive outcome, every little thing that I was questioning.  I needed to visualise this and make sure I felt confident in what I was setting out to achieve with this change.   I was focused and I knew after much deliberation, this was the right move and I knew when I had to make my move.

So I resigned from my job.  I had nothing as a back-up, no other job to go to, but I knew that this was what I needed in my life right at that moment.  I felt good.  I felt confident.  I felt motivated.  Then I felt Fear!  The fear took over and I felt like I was going to fail.  Everything I had worked so hard on to make sure that this was what I needed to do, I doubted.  I started to doubt myself and my self-worth all over again.  I went into hibernation and didn’t want to let the world know of this fear, in case it confirmed my own suspicions.  I didn’t know what to do?  Who to turn to?  I started to get irritated and snap at people and I wanted to just run away or beg for my job back.  What was I going to do?  I was panicking.

But slowly, slowly, I started to come to my senses.  I started writing down everything I was good at and I revisited my action plan.  I started to feel the fear leave me and was starting to feel confident and positive again.  And then it happened….

The law of attraction 

The law of attraction is the attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together. It manifests through the power of creation, everywhere and in multiple ways. Even the law of gravity is part of the law of attraction. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations and circumstances.

The law of attraction manifests through your thoughts, by drawing to you thoughts and ideas of a similar kind, people who think like you, and corresponding situations and circumstances. It is the law and power that brings together people of similar interests, who unite into various groups, such as political groups, sports teams, sports fans, fraternities, etc.

Can you take advantage of this law? Yes, you can!

You do so, through creative visualization and affirmations. By visualizing a mental image of what you want to achieve or by repeating positive statements, called affirmations, you create and bring into your life what you visualize or repeat in your mind. In other words, you use the power of your mind, thoughts, imagination and words.

There have always been people, from ancient times till now, who knew about this law and how to use it. They knew that repeating the same thought day after day, with interest and feeling, causes it to materialize and manifest in their lives.

The moment I left work, I started getting job offers, ones I never dreamed I would get, but I declined them.  Even though I knew these would solve a few of the problems I had, I did not want to veer from my action plan.  I knew that the timing was not right and that I needed to stay positive. I trusted and acted on my intuition. And I was right.  The job that I needed for me to feel whole again, and to make the right things happen for me to achieve my goals, arrived.

I am now on track with my action plan.  I start my new job in a week, and even though I do not know where it will take me, I know that it is a good step in the right direction.  I have taken myself out of my comfort zone and moved away from the snowball effect of feeling like a failure, because I feared change.  I know that there will be a few fears that I will need to overcome in the coming months, but this one small step has given me a courage to take a leap of faith and achieve a better world for myself and my daughter.

Fear was my final frontier.  Fear is no longer a factor.


10 comments on “Fear, the final frontier

  1. “When you find your comfort zone – step out of it.”
    That is a quote I once saw posted as one of those text pictures on Facebook. I thought you might like to see that. 🙂
    I should try writing up my own action plan. It might help remove the doubts and fears I have as well. I have plans in my mind – I just haven’t written them down. I try to use my mind at all times as my tool to keep me positive and focused on the better things in life, but I do know positive affirmations are nice to have.

    Your post reminds me – I’m THERE – right now. I’m in a place of comfort and I’m “afraid” to leave, but I WANT to leave. I want to get the ball rolling – face my fears and conquer them. Just having some trouble with that because I “doubt” myself, my skills and sometimes the worth of my talents.

    When I came back home – the feelings of “Failure” stuck with me for at least a month or two. I came back to the beginning – but I also know sometimes when we come “Full Circle” there’s a good reason for it. It’s a place of reflection. A place that is safe where we are free to be ourselves again and sometimes – where we find ourselves again. That’s why I feel I am back home – is to FIND myself again. Through finishing my novel, gardening and perhaps a few other things I hope to achieve the same positive results for myself. I’ll do what you did and try to come up with perhaps a list of “Successes” I’ve actually had in my life without trying to belittle them for what they are worth. Any victory – no matter how small – is still a victory I know. 🙂

    I thought this was well written. Thank you for sharing a piece of you. :3 ❤
    ~Infinite love and gratitude~

    • Hello and thank you for your comment.

      Apologies for my late reply. Hope that you are winning with your new found “story of success in the making”. Please keep me updated with your journey happenings.

      Good luck!


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  4. Dezy, I’ve been following your blog for many months and would like to recognize you and your blog with the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award 🙂

    Here’s a link to your nomination. http://creativemuse365.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/humbled-by-you-creation-248/

    If you accept, please post 7 things about yourself, pass on the award to 7 other bloggers and inform them that they have been nominated.
    Include the logo of the award on a post or in your blog as well.

    Thank you for continuing to inspire 🙂

    • Hello.

      Thank you so much for your words and for the award. I apologise for the late reply, but been so focused on work (my new venture) that I have had to learn to find the balance in my life again.

      Congratulations!! And what a fantastic idea! 🙂 I will definitely pay it forward with your Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award!

      Good luck to you and may you grow and keep the passion to inspire. 🙂

    • You’re a very wise woman! Love your positivity and such beautiful ways of expressing yourself in words.
      Have a wonderful week! 🙂

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